Posted on Wed, 11 May 2011

Essential First Date Alerts

Karen Khng, the fabulicious owner of bespoke dating agency Love Script and SimplyFab’s Love Guru, doles out some hard hitting advice on working your date.

So, this juicy guy you’ve got your eyes on has finally asked you out….or you managed to call him and he couldn’t wait to have dins with you. It’s the first date and you want it to go smoothly and have a good time for starters. Once again, our Love Script Date Research has exposed some super interesting finds.

Unfortunately, honesty isn’t always the best policy – for now, anyway. You may have earned those rock-hard buns through stairmaster workouts and a low-carb, high-protein diet. You may have invested a small chunk in creams that fulfilled their promise on firming up those toddler-tugged-at nursing boobs. But remember – be a loose cannon and spew information that’s timing-inappropriate and that guy whose smile you like, whose butt you wanna pinch, won’t be knocking on your door for a night cap anytime soon.

Yup, listen up, gals… these days, it’s downright smart to only share as needed…We’ve got paper stacks full of Date Advice but these Top 5 Absolute Date Crushers take the cake on killing your date!

1. Let your past stay in the past!
Please, DO NOT talk about your ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, ex-abusive relationships, ex-problems, ex-anything… Focus on your future, showcase the positive, attractive, fun and high-energy person that you are. Talk about the sharp mountain air you wanna breathe in, the off-the-beaten-track countries you want to visit, and the things you want to do. Be the person you want to get to know and he will likely feel the same about you…

2. For goodness sake, keep a lid on your lineage!
Men get freaked out when a woman they’ve just met starts to talk about their kids from a previous marriage. Geez, he hasn’t even decided if he likes you enough to see you again, and now he’s got a visual image of a weekend choc-full of noisy kid activities, school fees and mortgages on his mind.

Emotionally-mature, physically fit and mentally stable guys may be willing to love you and the fruit of your loins, but shove it up way too early in the relationship and there might not be a second date up your alley.

3. Be a lady.
Sound, look and act like a lady! For a man to like a woman he’s just met, it helps if she’s modern but feminine, a little coy perhaps, and uses body language. Be a lady –
You like it au natural? So does he! But don’t be without makeup everyday of your life. You’ve seen the pre- and post-fashion makeovers, witnessed the DIY transformation on YouTube makeup tutorials. Now it’s your turn. You’ll be surprised who’s looking back at you in the mirror!

Oh, and you may be single, attractive enough, in shape, successful and savvy in the boardroom but save the balls for a conflict resolution, ‘have-to-find-a-solution-or-agree-to-disagree day’ after you’re in a dating relationship, not before. Until then, keep your balls zipped up and play up the kitten card!

4. Build your mystique
A bit of mystery is seductive. It may be an old trick, but this classic still works. Build some mystique around you and keep him enticed and wondering what are the other complex, exciting layers that you have beneath the surface – in every aspect.

Picture yourself as a tube of toothpaste, squeeze out info on an as-needed basis. For instance…how old are you again? He may want to know that shortly after he meets you but play it coy – tease him about never asking a lady her age. You don’t need to tell him yet. Stay in the getting-to-know-you stage until you are where you want to be.

Karen Khng is the founder and managing director of Love Script, a bespoke introductions services firm specialising in proactive and discrete Date & Partner Search Services and Unrivalled Date Journeys. Love Script conducts date coaching workshops and organizes Invitation-Only Date Mixers to bring like-minded people together. She brings a pragmatic, intuitive and hands-on approach to matchmaking and believes that relationship readiness and skills are vital ingredients to the success of a union. For more information, visit www.love-script.com or email karen@love-script.com