Posted on Sat, 30 Jul 2011
Living Together & Loving it?
Couples in conservative Singapore are trending to cohabitation, says our love guru Karen Khng, the MD of Love Script International. (Sorry, we couldn’t find an image of an Asian couple!) Our gorgeous lady recently undertook a sizeable survey and with fresh finds straight from her stats records, discovered that 54% of her respondents are ‘open to cohabitation’ before the wedding ring is in sight. Shhh! Don’t tell Grandma!
Reasons for moving in together range from wanting to ‘test the relationship’, and ‘pure love’, to wanting to spend ‘all the time in the world with him/her’.
“Cohabitation can truly be a tested way to learn more about each other’s living habits, start to understand what each person’s deal makers are and what the absolute no-nos are when living together,” said Karen. “A couple’s patience and flexibility is tested the most during this special getting-to-know-you period. Simple actions like the man leaving the toilet seat up versus the woman leaving the toilet seat down, how you leave your flip flops after you enter the house, if you leave grease on the stove after you cook, can all contribute to the perfect storm!
“If a couple is able to emerge out of these challenges relatively unscathed, cohabitation can indeed strengthen the relationship. But if they realise they have irreconcilable differences, then they may be looking a rocky road ahead,” says Karen.
Interestingly, of the 150 respondents, 62% did consider breaking up – married women are not surprised, believe me! – but most hung on despite it all due mainly to love. Other reasons include believing that the other party will make a change for the better (Red alert! No, Sweetie – that doesn’t happen!) and not wanting to ‘waste time’ looking for another partner.
“It’s a conscious decision one has to make to wake up every morning to love the other person as unconditionally as possible, warts and all! But if you find that you can’t even see eye-to-eye over nitty-gritty details of everyday living and quarrels ensue, then it’s probably time for you to re-evaluate!”
“People ask me all the time, should one stay in a relationship when it no longer makes you feel happy? Or, is it part of the package, to consciously accept each other’s flaws and take the crap as well as the beautiful vistas along the way?” asked Khng. “Just how much is too much, and where should one draw the line? Every relationship is unique….”
Which reminds me, years ago, a friend told me just after she was liberated from a bad relationship: “When you wake up in the morning and see his face on the pillow next to yours, and you just want to punch it in, you know it’s over.” Well, better to know early than find out later and be saddled with legal fees and alimony!
Love Script International is a boutique introductions services firms specialising in unrivalled date journeys and proactive partner searches in the marketplace. They conduct both local as well as international partner searches for clients and have their own blend of scientific and intuitive approach that they use to evaluate a client’s emotional availability and relationship readiness. Using their internally developed Love Speak Date & Relationship Readiness methodology, they then search for suitable matches for clients. For more information on date journeys and partner searches, please contact lovescript@love-script.com or visit www.love-script.com for more information!
